Lately... I've been thinking the purpose of my life. Well, I'm kinda lost, wondering what should I do next. Somehow, I feel like I'm wasting my life now... Maybe I could use the time to do something more meaningful, so that I don't regret later on. Any suggestion how to spend holidays usefully and meaningfully?
Anyway... The point of this post is about the thought of sexuality. I don't usually talk about this to anyone, mostly because of my somewhat conservative parents. Some people think I'm gay, I mean do I looks like one?? Seriously, even myself don't know about that.
During this sixth form life, many of my friends are in a relationship already. I wonder if that's a good thing or not, because they usually break up in the end, and suicide cases because of this matter are also increasingly common now. I'm kinda afraid that they are involved...
To be truthful, I don't have special feelings for girls yet. I'm really puzzled. Maybe I'm gay? Christians say being gay is abnormal, and it's a sin, you'll go to hell if you do that (not that I care anyway). I think I'm not ready for relationship yet, but I hope I can get some opinion though.
Anyhow, everything it's still a possibility though, what if I'm single forever? What will my parents think? Will people hate me if I really "turned" gay? I just don't know. I hope I'm "normal" though, but it's not something I could control. Btw, there's one girl confessed to me, but I rejected... I don't know her well and she's a bit mentally unstable... Am I cruel??
I need help, I've lost myself. What am I anyway?
Have a nice day.
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